The Power of Birth Affirmations: How to create a better birth with your words

Original Photo by Sophia Cook

The power of words is known on an instinctual level and has been taught by many wise teachers.  Despite this knowledge we unconsciously begin to align ourselves with them, even if they are negative. Words carry a weight of their own and they can be used to lift someone up or tear them down, the same is true for the words you use about yourself and your birth.

A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing.
She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination, prepared to be herself and only herself.
~ Maya Angelou

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. ~ Buddha

'Tis a strange mystery, the power of words!
Life is in them, and death. A word can send
The crimson colour hurrying to the cheek.
Hurrying with many meanings; or can turn
The current cold and deadly to the heart.
Anger and fear are in them; grief and joy
Are on their sound; yet slight, impalpable:—
A word is but a breath of passing air

~ Letitia Elizabeth Landon

        Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. ~ Proverbs 16:24 ESV


Choose to surround yourself with words, poems, and songs that lift your heart and fill you with joy when you visualize your birth. 

The Rose

My cervix is like a rosebud
Ready to Open
I am nurtured by those around me as the rose is nurtured by the soil
The rosebud gradually, ever so softly, opens and blossoms.
I open and blossom.
My cervix is soft and ripe like a rosebud.
I see the outer petals of the rose falling away
I see my cervix yielding like the outer petals of the rose.
Every contraction opens another petal of my rosebud cervix.
I welcome each contraction, which helps me open my rosebud cervix.
I welcome and receive all the nurturing around me, which helps me open.
Just like the warm sun opens the rose, the warmth I receive opens my cervix.

I yield and open.
The rose does not resist.
I open and blossom.

~ Barbara Harper“Gentle Birth Choices”

Making a list of positive birth affirmations is a technique used in Hypnobirthing and has become more common practice in women wanting to create a positive birth experience.  Birth affirmations should be short, positive, and based in the present.  Write them on pretty paper and hang them around your house or paint them into a picture to hang in your birthing space.  One mother that I was doulaing for made a book of birth affirmations using a ring of index cards that she read during her birth.  A banner is another creative way to display your birth affirmations, they can be hand made by you or bought from various crafters.  Some women include this in their blessing-way or baby shower and ask each guest to make an affirmation to add to their banner. 

This is a list of Birth Affirmations to choose from or take a few minutes to sit down in a quiet space and let them come to you. When creating your list remember that your birth journey is unique and will unfold on its own. Trust your intuition, love yourself and enjoy your birth, you were created to do this!

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My body was created to birth

I am relaxed and open to each sensation

Each contraction is a wave, I let it wash through me and then I release it

I can do this, I am doing this

Birth is a safe and wonderful experience

I am aware and in control of my breathing

I am grounded, I am strong

I allow the rhythm of birth to flow through me

My body and baby know what to do, I surrender fully and completely

I am doing this exactly right

The pain is my power.  It opens me up like a flower in bloom, making room for my baby's entry into the world

My pelvis releases and opens as have those of countless women before me

I accept myself completely here and now

I now feel inner peace and serenity

I accept this labor as my labor and believe it is the right one for me and for my baby

I love and accept my body completely

I accept all my feelings as part of myself     

I feel the love of others around me

My baby knows all is well

The strength of my contractions are a sign of my feminine strength

Skin-to-Skin: 10 Benefits of Kangaroo Care

Photo credit to James Theophane
https://m.flickr.com/photos/_theo_/ 

There is an increasing awareness in the birth community of the sacredness of a mothers first contact with her newborn.  Long gone are the days when infants were lifted by one leg and soundly smacked on their tender bottom.  Women are owning the rite to catch their baby the minute they are birthed into this world and taking back that special time. 

"Mothers, reach down and let your hands be first thing they feel. Take them from the cold air into your warm breast and surround them with your smell and rhythm."  S.Wolf

Skin-to-skin care is nothing more than delaying the swaddling or clothing of baby immediately after birth and placing them to your chest, covered in a warm blanket, then enjoying the amazing bonding time you worked so hard for.

10 Benefits of Skin-to-skin or Kangaroo care:

• Calms and sooths
• Reduces crying
• Improves quality of sleep
• Accelerated brain development
• Regulates body temperature 
• Enhances immune system
• Reduces risks of postpartum
• Promotes psychological wellbeing in mom
• Speeds recovery 
• Improves Breastfeeding duration and success, increase milk supply

Are you planning to BREASTFEED?  Amazing research proves that skin-to-skin contact can actually increase the time a baby nurses!

In one study on UNICEF's website The Baby Friendly Initiative, a group of 1250 Polish children were followed for 3 years from birth in order to study the influence on breastfeeding of skin-to-skin contact after birth.  "The authors conclude that mother-infant skin-to-skin contact lasting for LONGER than 20 minutes after birth increases the duration of exclusive breastfeeding."  The infants that were kept with their mothers for at least 20 minutes were exclusively breastfed for 1.35 months longer and weaned 2.10 months later than those who had no skin-to-skin contact after delivery. 

"Fathers will be empowered to care for their baby and not feel helpless or useless, becoming central to the caring team" 

- Kangaroo Mother Care

Fathers should be included in this wonderful bonding time.  When mom is unavailable or ready for some self care time, this is the perfect opportunity for dad to step in.  In pre-term birth or birth to twins or triplets fathers care is absolutely invaluable to mom and this time together can help strengthen the connection.

Benefits of skin-to-skin contact for Dad:

• Better bonding
• Emotional healing
• Calmness
• Able to read baby’s unique cues for hunger or stress
• Improved sleeping

Kangaroo care can extend past the first few hours after birth and is actually encouraged.  There are may ways to take advantage of this, including slings and wraps that will keep baby close and mothers hands free.

For more information on Kangaroo care and the benefits of Skin-to-skin contact please check out these resources:

http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Skin-to-skin-contact/

http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/fathers-skin-to-skin.aspx

http://www.kangaroomothercare.com/

http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/News-and-Research/Research/Skin-to-skin-contact/Skin-to-skin-contact-at-birth-increases-the-duration-of-exclusive-breastfeeding/

Trauma by perspective

Jordan’s birth story

I was 19 and finding myself.  20 years later, that is still evolving.  Instinctively, I knew I wanted a natural birth and to breastfeed.  It just felt right.  My belief in God’s design coupled with a fear of epidurals and interventions overshadowed by a strong desire to prove myself were the forces driving my plans and goals.  I have always been complicated.

I chose a practice that coupled midwifery care with obstetrics, took the hospital childbirth series and read What to Expect as I balanced bowls of soup on my growing bump.  My little precocious love was also very perceptive.  EDD Nov 8.  The very same day that my mother had been told to expect me 20 years before.  Like clockwork, Nov 6 brought a ripening cervix and the loss of my plug.  24 hours later came the loose bowels the book and class had told me were coming.  My little baby was on its way following the textbook timeline like clockwork.  The early morning hours of Nov 8 held sporadic light cramping. I slept.  At precisely 9:18 (the minute of my birth) came the first real contraction.  7 minutes later, came another.  This continued for 7 hours. Ctx were 5-7 minutes apart. They grew a little in intensity, but not much.  By 4:00, I chose to pause during contractions.  4:00-6:00 was spent sitting on my couch, anxiously waiting for my birth team to be ready to go.  At 6:00, we made the 10 minute drive to the hospital and were checked in by 6:10.  In my room, I was greeted by the friendly face of Traci- the nurse who had taught the childbirth class series.  My other team members were a nervous partner who was existing outside of my labor bubble and my mother who was streaming tears and not able to be the strength and inspiration I needed in those moments. Traci’s presence was a big sigh of relief.  She quickly let me know that the midwife on call had been at the hospital longer than 12 hours and was in a terrible mood.  It was my option to choose midwifery care (my plan) or go with the on call OB (what Traci recommended as the lesser of the evils that night).  I trusted her insight and asked for the OB to take charge of my care.  Traci checked my dilation- 7, congratulated me on being so calm and checked in with the OB.  By 6:25 I was complete.  Pushing at 6:30. In that moment, the OB appeared mumbling about needing to leave to get his son to a dance. After a quick introduction, he proceeded to administer a local (with no forewarning or consent) in preparation for an episiotomy.  Through her tears, my mother said, “He is holding a tool.  I think he is about to cut you.”  I realized that Traci had been trying to tell me as much through her eyes during that last contraction.  In hindsight, her lips were probably tied because of the politics of the position she was in at that moment.  I had only been at the hospital 20 minutes and pushed once when he was ready to destroy my perineum so that his son could dance?!?  Oh no!  I told him to put the scissors down and reminded him that he did not have permission to cut me.  He grumbled something like “Have it your way.  You’re going to tear all the way through”. I was PISSED that I had made it this far- a first time mom in her teens holding my own in my natural birth *like a champ* and he robbed me of feeling these last moments.  Being treated with that level of disrespect kicked my determination into high gear.  He proceeded to insert his hands into my vagina during my contractions (the only really painful part of this experience) while I pushed and delivered my baby at 6:40 pm.  30 minutes after arriving. 20  minutes after reaching complete dilation.  My first daughter was born.

Scorecard

Erica and her perineum- 1

Divine Nurse Traci - *Hero’s award*

OB- 0

Baby Jordan- thriving in spite of the drama surrounding her <<<<-------Won’t be the last time!!!

Ok.  She came out looking more like this.

Madelyn's Birth Story

Going into my third pregnancy I felt a lot more confident in how I wanted to birth and my ability to make it through without the help of pain medicine.  Noah’s delivery had been like a dream after my first.  I had felt so calm and capable.  I had worked with my body to ease him into the world.  This next one should be a piece of cake right? Well that’s what I though anyways.

We asked Cindy to be our doula again and planned to deliver at the same hospital with the same doctor.  I was sitting in our church during Sunday morning service about a week before my delivery date when I “thought” my water broke, I sent a text to my husband who was playing in the worship band and without pause he left the stage and came to sit with me.  Of course the entire church knew and we were rushed out the doors to go to the hospital!  

As we drove I realized that I was not having any strong contractions, only mild Braxton hix, which I had been having for several weeks.  We called Cindy to get her advice and she told us to head somewhere we could walk around and watch my progress.  The park was perfect and near the hospital, we stayed at the walking track for about an hour but were still not sure if I was in labor? Looking back I think this is the first point when we should have headed home.  We lived about an hour away from our hospital and were afraid to get too far if It was true labor… we decided to go to the hospital and find out for sure.

I was checked and told that I was dilated 2cm and my membranes were intact (I was wrong about my water breaking).  Not the news we were expecting… we had the option of staying and trying to induce or going home and waiting until I was actually in labor.  Once again this is a place in time when we should have looked closer at what we wanted and how inducing would affect the way my labor would be and how I would deal with the change in my birth plan.    

Getting checked at the hospital 

We stayed and I induced the labor with a synthetic prostaglandin inserted into my cervix.  My contractions came or rather quickly and I was able to manage them with my breathing and focusing on other things.  I was able to get in the shower but only for short periods of time because of the need for monitoring with the induction. The birth ball was my best friend with Noah’s birth but during this one the labor intensified at a quicker rate the contractions I experienced were much more intense.  I sat on the toilet and walked the room to help relieve the pressure in my bottom.  I leaned on Cindy, hanging from her with tears in my eyes.  

I was determined to stay with it and not give up, this was not easy though.  Right before the transition stage of my labor I stood next to the monitor listening to our babies heart-beat, my muscles were shaking and my legs were weak, I leaned over with every contraction to hold myself up.  I finally reached the point when my mind could not cope with the strength of the contractions I was having, I cried out for some help, something to relieve the pain I was in.  “Sweet heart you are ALMOST there,
 stay with it because you have gotten so far already and you can do this“, Cindy said to me.  She let 
me know that I had reached the point of no return and even if I got something for the pain I would probably have my baby before it even gave me relief.

My doctor came and asked me to lie down.  After all of that I had only dilated to 6cm.  Before I could even say something he had broken my water.  This pain combined with the pain I was already in was too much for me to bear.  I was shaking so hard that my husband had to hold me still.  
Within a matter of minutes the urge to push was so strong I begged the nurse to get my doctor, “I am READY to push” told her, she did not believe me but went and got him.  When he checked me he said that I was fully dilated to 10cm.  

I have always been very quiet during my labors, I never screamed or moaned very loudly.  I kept my jaw loose and sighed through the pain, until I got to this one that is.
As the final contraction came over me it started as a low “ah”, sweeping through my body,  growing with power and volume until I was yelling at the top of my lungs.  I pushed my little girl out roaring like a lioness.  

My sweet babies all in one place 

(Noah age 2 and Jacob age 4)

Madelyn Ann

Noah's birth Story

Around Christmas during my second pregnancy I watched a movie.  It was movie based on a story most people know.  A young pregnant girl travels with her husband to the town of his lineage.  When they arrive there is no where to stay, a kind innkeeper offers a stall in his stable.  With nothing but her body and love for her unborn baby she births her son.  No medicine, no doctor.

I was inspired by this girl’s story.  I have a the same body, a body able to conceive, carry, and birth a child.

Initially I didn't think about hiring a doula to be with me at my birth,  I just knew I wanted to do better this time.  While I was at my prenatal check up I saw a flyer for a local doula offering her services.

It felt like fate when I met with Cindy.  We talked about my hopes and goals for this birth and she told me a doula is there support my decisions, encourage me and help comfort me during the most difficult parts of my labor?  I knew that I wanted Cindy to be my doula.

She was kind and funny, she was a well of knowledge and was always was patient with me when I called with questions.  She was even happy to answer the phone at midnight to tell me if the glob of snot I found in my underwear could possibly be the birth plug and did this mean I was close?

When I started having contractions we waited for a while at home before heading to the hospital,  this time around we didn't drive quite as fast.

Cindy, our doula, met us at the hospital.  We had discussed my birth plan so I was confident she would help me stick with my goals.  I opted to not have the fetal monitor belted on continuously or have an IV port placed so I could move freely and take advantage of the shower.  My doctor had agreed that this was fine and they could check the heart tones throughout the labor with a smaller hand held monitor.  Because my pregnancy had been low risk there was also no reason to have an IV.

This labor was so smooth compared to my first and I was able to rest when I needed rest, find my own rhythm and flow.  I felt like getting in the shower and sitting on my birth ball I stayed for what seemed like an eternity.  I prayed and sang to myself, talking to my baby and God I asked for strength.  It felt like I was in a trance.  I was in a river of feeling, no thought but moving from one contraction to the next.  The water soothed my body, distracting me and giving me something to focus on.  The nurses would come to make me get out but Cindy would kindly tell them I was fine and ask them to give me a few more minutes.  She was a sentinel at my door, standing watch with a kind fierceness.

When I left the shower I was so relaxed I laid down and fell asleep.  Cindy came to wake me up so the labor would not stop progressing, putting an orange slice under my nose to refresh my senses with the zing of citrus.  I labored on my ball until the pressure was too intense to sit.  I stood with my arms around my husband and we swayed as he held me and stroked my back.

My water finally broke while I was sitting on a bedside commode with a pillow for comfort.  I was so excited it had happened on its own!  After I made it to the bed the urge to push was too strong to resist and After pushing a little while I began to feel the pressure and burn of my baby's head crowning.

With that final powerful push Noah was born into this world the day after Jacob turned 2.  The meaning of his name is " comfort, peace, rest".

Cindy was such a tremendous gift to us.  She not only comforted and cared for me, she also gave encouragement and guidance to my husband Chris.  They worked as a team at times to meet my needs and I am so grateful for both of them <3

Jacob's Birth Story

Hello!  My name is Sophia and I am a Doula with Sacred Birth Collective and this it my birth story.


I have been blessed with three beautiful kids and with each one I was able to experience child birth in a different way.  I can't say they were all perfect births but they were all worth it because in the end I came home with a brand new bundle of joy.

My oldest son was a big surprise.  I was 18 when we found out I was pregnant and we were not planning to have a baby quite yet.  We quickly decided that this was great and set off like most new parents to-be do.  I read some pregnancy books and asked the women in my family lots of questions, I wanted to breastfeed and learned as much as I could about it.  I bought a baby keepsake book and since I wasn't working, watched lots of soap operas ( thank you very much to our ginormous antique satellite that only picked up three channels!)

We took lots of walks during the weeks before my delivery date and just days before my due date we drove to a state park to walk the trails hoping it would put me into labor.
On February 7, 2005 I began feeling strong contractions around 10:00 p.m.  We waited at home, sitting on the couch with a watch in hand, and timed them until it the contractions got closer and more regular.  At this point we felt like it was time to go to the hospital so we hopped in the car and drove like maniacs, flashers and all.  What better excuse to use flashers right?

When we arrived at the hospital I was checked and admitted, my nurse came in and strapped a fetal monitor around my belly.  An IV was started and she gave me a good dose of pitocin with a shot of painkillers for good measure.  I labored in the bed for a long time feeling miserable, I was able to get up and use the bathroom but I had to unstrap the monitor and drag the IV bag behind me.  It was too cumbersome and limited my movement so I climbed back in bed.  My pain was becoming unbearable and I didn't know how to manage it.  When they offered the epidural I quickly said "Yes please! Right now!"
The anesthesiologist had two other moms ahead of me and I waited about an hour before he came in.

I clung to the nurse and cried as the procedure was done, she held me and offered comfort.  When I asked her name she said " Everyone calls me Mamma Sharon".  This sweet nurse just became the most important person there other than my husband.  She sat with us for as long as she could but had to leave and check on another mother.  She told me to rest and that is exactly what I wanted to do.

My labor stopped progressing after the epidural and the monitors started going off, in a matter of seconds  Mamma Sharon and another nurse rushed in and administered oxygen through a face mask.  They rolled me from side to side explaining that my oxygen level dropped and the babies heart rare had slowed.  Fear and confusion set in, I was not in control of my body and I couldn't help my baby.  My husband looked panicked and no one was telling us if this was normal.

The nurses were able to get our levels regulated and when my doctor checked me for dilation he said it was time to push.  The epidural made it so that I had very little sensation from the waist down, I had to rely on Mamma Sharon and my doctors cues to know when to push.  I barred down with all my might , feeling pressure as his head descended.  My pushing was strong an it wasn't too long before I pushed my sweet baby out.

Looking down at my tiny, beautiful son Jacob I felt full of joy, wonder, and peace.  He was perfect and we were both okay.

Due to the drugs in my system he was very lethargic and it took a while to wake him up long enough to eat.  I was not able to feel my legs for several more hours, which let me tell you, makes it pretty hard to walk to the bathroom.  During my entire labor we had to rely on and trust people we had never met before to tell us what we should do.


I was lucky enough to to have a wonderful and compassionate nurse during part of my labor but she eventually had to switch with another nurse and I never saw her again.

I have since tried to find her but was never able, I am so grateful for her and am sending my heartfelt thanks for the care and comfort she gave to us.  Thank you Mamma Sharon <3